Sunday, June 15, 2008

developing my wartime mentality

Hey there. When I read the e-mail suggesting we all make wartime sacrifices, I decided this didn't apply to me for several reasons (i.e. I'd already given away my DWYL book, I don't work for money now so have little to spare, I'm not in town with the rest of y'all, etc). Then I changed my mind...

One of my biggest struggles has been figuring out myself— where I'm going with my degree and all these work experiences I've had, whether I like what I'm doing or not, wondering how to feign strong interest in something I'm less than passionate about, and how to be motivated when I don't know if what I learn now will serve me later. Voicing that, I see I've had a self-centered mindset. So I've decided my wartime sacrifice attempt is to give up my will.

I want to give up my will so badly, to push myself further out of the picture to see what God is doing and then become part of that instead of trying to figure out what "big" thing He wants me to do. I've read about this many places, worded many ways, and now I become aware of ways that I can sacrifice my will every day. This is my intention as a wartime sacrifice, however vague and immeasurable, and hopefully God will teach me as I contemplate how I can focus on what I do for God and for others in my daily circumstances instead of worrying too much about how it'll impact my own life. Christ wants me to focus more on Him and less on me. Easy to know but hard to do, right?


Ryan said...

Emily, I'm glad you're joining us, and I'm even more glad that I figured out that "mle" was you... I was trying to figure out who had those initials, when I said them out loud, followed by a loud "OOOOHHH" :-)

MD said...

Ryan, thanks for cluing me in that this was Emily! Emily you are brave! I look forward to reading where God takes you with this request. He is good honor the requests to deny oneself of their will.